When you die, if in the place you go after you die, you see anything like the Bill of Rights, you know you’re in Hell. Because a Bill of Rights in Heaven would be an affront to God; it would imply that He is untrustworthy. —Dr. Walter E. Williams, Rush Limbaugh Program, September 4, 2009
Posts Tagged ‘humor’
How Do You Know You’re In Hell?
Friday, September 4th, 2009Sugar Scrub
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009I am reading Andy Clarke’s Transcending CSS, and in it he encourages looking for Web design inspiration in places other than the Web: cereal boxes, newspapers, magazines, buildings, to name a few. (This is something I’ve done for some time now, but I’ve been making a more conscious effort of late, given his advice.)
This morning I picked up a tube of my wife’s facial scrub. I looked for anything interesting in the design on the front. Then I looked at the back, which contains, among other things, an ingredient list. I wasn’t scanning the ingredient list as much as my eyes just happened to fall on one word:
Saliva.
Saliva! They put saliva in facial scrub? I looked again.
Salvia.
Salvia officinalis (sage) leaf extract. Ah, helps to keep reading past the line break.
Arden, Hannah, Whatever
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009Our two-year-old has finally begun to talk and build a vocabulary. Folks who know about this kind of thing tell me that the American English R is one of the most difficult sounds for kids to learn to enunciate.
As you can imagine then, Whitby has a difficult time pronouncing his older sister’s name, Arden. So he pronounces it “Hannah.” A natural and logical approximation, I’m sure you’ll agree.
A Good Thing
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord. —Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)
Hmm. Never says that about husbands. Coincidence?
Blood Of The New Covenant For Your Refreshment
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009Around the house, our nearly-two-year-old will sip from a cup and follow it with a gratified, “Ahhh.” Sunday during the fruit of the vine portion of the Lord’s Supper, after I sipped the juice from my cup, Whitby followed up with a quite audible, “Ahhh.”
I guess we need to work on that reverence thing.
Madoff With(out) The Cash
Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008Am I the only one who finds it humorous that the guy who ran a 25-year, $50 billion Ponzi scheme pronounces his last name “made off?”
Saigon Kick
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008I had lunch with some coworkers at a local Vietnamese restaurant called Saigon. Accompanying my pho tai were some fresh jalapeno slices, and I dropped one in my bowl. When I finally came across that jalapeno as I was eating, it burned my throat and made me cough. I said, “Be careful with those jalapenos, guys. It’s like eating napalm!”
What? Too soon?
[Thanks for the punchline, Will.]
Best Family Ever
Friday, May 30th, 2008My condolences go out to all of our competitors. I’m sure there were several in the running, but I’m afraid the contest is closed. In fact, I didn’t even know there was a contest until my three-year-old daughter proclaimed to my wife and me, “We’re the best family ever!”
I’d like to thank the Academy, Mom & Dad, my wife, …